Nitty~Gritty

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Jenny from the Alumni Association just called. Someone with Jenny’s job has been trying to talk to me all week and all week I have been giving the caller the cold shoulder. They kept calling me when I was eating dinner, making them just above telemarketers. I asked if maybe they could call me before dinnertime but I guess the two-hour time change was too hard for them to figure out. I’m sure I was just a name or number on the list, not a real person. Jenny was different than the first two callers. She kept up the chitchat way too long, asking me personal questions like we were long lost sorority sisters. Finally I said, “Are you in a sorority?” She acted like I was a psychic saying, “Oh my god, yes I am,” (In a Texas accent don’t forget.) Truth be told, I’m not psychic, her annoy accent, that I once had, gave her away. At one point, I listened to her ramble on wondering if it was normal for all the other volunteer callers to go off their scripts like she had. I didn’t hang up because I was just so dumbfounded by the way she talked. “So when’s the last time you’ve seen the campus?” she asked. “Um, probably about 8 years” I tell her, but informing her that I knew about changes due to the great alumni magazine that litters my trashcan. The weird thing was that while listening to her, I became aware just how dumb I must have sounded to other people when I was just a college sophomore, thinking I was the queen of the world. Like most girls in college, I thought I was brilliant and beautiful because I got laid. Of course now I realize a college girl willing to sleep with anyone after five beers really wasn’t that brilliant or beautiful, but common. I, like Jenny, was just all caught up in college spirit crap, willing to do anything to make the campus my home because I loved being there and out of touch with reality. “Oh my gosh, so you haven’t seen our new Starbucks and Barnes and Nobles!” She exclaimed. My first thought was damnit; my hard earned money hasn’t been going to a coed’s education but to further their hangouts? It was weird, I guess due to our psudo-bonding Jenny couldn’t seem to get up the nerves to ask me for money even though I knew that was the purpose of her call. She asked, “Well, is there anything you want to ask me?” Being the smart graduate and not a sophomore therefore giving me the power to rule over her, I said, “So when are you going to ask me for money Jenny?” I ruffled her feathers questioning her further about making sure my money actually goes to the education department of my choice and not to another overpriced coffee bar. Jenny said, “Well, I can put a note by your alumni number.” It was then that I realized my university wasn’t all I thought it was cracked up to be back then. In fact, they actually still just knew who I was based on my social security number and my check number. I had no choice but to do it again; I wrote them a check just so I could get the cool Alumni sticker to put on the back of my twelve-year-old car. Having an alumni sticker on the back of my old car hopefully distracts people into thinking, “she’s not rich but hey look, she went to a great university.” Isn’t this why everyone supports his or her University?

posted by: hookemup at 20:50 | link | comments (6) |

Comments:

#1 15 October 2004 - 09:18

lol, you describe the college scene perfectly.

WritersQuill

#2 15 October 2004 - 09:23

i guess i've had enough of cleansing then.

ania

#3 15 October 2004 - 09:48

I have it on good authority that you have always been brilliant and beautiful.

Annonymous

#4 15 October 2004 - 09:56

The college sticker thing---I could never understand those people who have 4 or 5 different college stickers on their cars. Either they were as dumb as dirt and mom and dad were determined to get them through any college; or they were kicked out of every one for drinking five beers--and in both instances they simply went to the next one down the road.