Nitty~Gritty

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Dear cute guy at the gym,

I know you must be used to women checking you out because you’re cute and sweaty but I wasn’t looking at you while you were riding the bike. Even though you thought I was, I was looking at the TV just above your head. Get over yourself and stop turning around to look at me because you feel my eyes upon your neck. Please just tilt your head to the right a bit so I can get a better view of the TV tomorrow.

Dear bald man,

I stood there waiting very patiently for you to get off of the Stairmaster so I could have a turn so the least you could do is wipe down that stinky sweat that falls from your shiny bald head. Why the hell do you think they have the signs everywhere that state; “Please wipe down the machine when you are finished.” You ruined my workout because I was too occupied with trying not to touch my eyes or nose with your coodies.

Dear fat woman,

Why do you always walk around in your wet bathing suit? For the record, we all look at you because you’re gross and even grosser in that swimsuit. Hop on over to Kmart and buy yourself a cover-up to stop our retinas from burning.

Dear hottie at the desk,

I love the way you greet me when I walk in the door. If I weren’t married, I would love you in my bed working out those muscles of yours.

Dear step aerobics instructor,

I think I could teach the class better than you. In fact, I resent how you walk around the room pretending to check on everyone. I know the truth, you’re out of breath like the rest of us so you just walk around in an attempt to act like you’re not slacking off but I’m here to tell you that you don’t fool me.

Last but not least….

Dear Cute Hubby,

I’m never playing racquetball with you again. That welt on my leg caused by the ball you swung at that pelted my leg, it still stings. Next time, aim for the wall, not my calves. Maybe I will play with you again… payback time baby.

posted by: hookemup at 20:32 | link | comments (4) |

Comments:

#1 13 August 2004 - 01:45

hahaha.. the infamous gym personalities. I wonder if someone has ever written me a letter in his blog complaining how slow I am or how lousy my attire is. :p