Nitty~Gritty

Thursday, February 12, 2004

there's not enough coffee in the world to spank me into this morning. I'm in a haze that's quite painful from yesterdays workout. I went on a long enjoyable bike ride and topped it off with a jog. Believe me, a woman with these breasts was not meant to jog. I parked so that halfway through, spirited toddler could get out and play at the park. While I'm there I spot the dreaded public restroom. I'm not sure if seeing it made me want to go or if I had to go before but either way, I was in quite the pickle. The entire time we're playing, it was in my vision teasing me urging my bladder to release itself inside. At this point I'm at a fork in the road. Do I fight the urge and jog painfully the other 2 miles or do I proudly walk between the doors with the stick figure wearing a skirt? After about 30 minutes, I made, what I thought, was the smartest decision. With toddler in tow, I was going in. Fearful indeed but I need to do more things outside the box I decided. We're both locked in when my mind starts wondering. He starts grabbing and unrolling the toilet paper which I just let happen because I've got business to attend to. I've decided a quick squat and I'm out of here. I assume the position. My thighs start burning as I try to hover above the dreaded seat. At that moment, I see spirited toddler is going towards the shiny box. You know what I mean? He started to lift the lid to see what was inside. I couldn't let fate in at this point. Without thinking and without clinching the right muscles, I saved him from the box. My point is that all this time I blamed disgusting restrooms on men but now I realize it's crazy women like me. My finger is itching this morning so I'm sure I picked up something I should be ashamed of.

posted by: hookemup at 07:07 | link | comments (7) |

Comments:

#1 12 February 2004 - 07:28

Not sure whether to respond to this post, or the identical one following it, lol. I have been there, done that. When you use your foot to flush, and refuse to touch anything with your flesh? Wait until the toddler needs to use the potty, and doesn't want help sitting on it!

Mo'nonymous

#2 12 February 2004 - 07:29

yes, the balancing on one leg while you do the foot flush....a must do.

hookemup

#3 12 February 2004 - 12:01

Very embarrassing. But I adore embarassing stories. I covet them like jewels. You've inspired me to share some of my own today. Way to inspire my blog entry.

serenaluchang

#4 12 February 2004 - 15:49

LOL. God, I've been there! Startingover is right. My oldest never enters a public restroom without hearing "don't touch anything in there other than to wash your hands!" Then I always hear "Moooooooooom." as he disappears behind the door. Then I stand outside the door like a weirdo, wanting so badly to press my ear against the door (eww but that would be gross too) just in case there is a crazy in there I can jump right in like Super Diva and kick his ass. Sigh. As for me personally I still have a very vivid memory of the first time I was taught the Hover at the drive in bathroom. :) Zoe

DivaConfessions

#5 12 February 2004 - 16:46

The first time i tried to use a portable restroom, i jerked the door open, got a whiff of what's waiting for me inside, and ran. I can't remember if i was able to close the door