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"My Horrible Day", or "Why you should use birth control!" I look at the clock because it's still dark out but someone very cute and small and sick needs me. Four hours of sleep. I've had better nights. It all started last night. My business was on the news which was really exciting. They did a close up and I was thankful I looked happy and smart. My fame ended three minutes later. Spirited toddler is throwing up on the carpet. I start to clean it up when I notice blue chunks. So yes, I did the motherly thing and picked it up to get a closer look. I know it's grosse but it has to be done. Humm, looks like Crayons. Yep. Business partner stops by and lets her kids run wild in my house. She stayed too long and left in a cloud of smoke. If your dog came in my house and pooped, would you make me clean it up? Then why doesn't she ever make her kids clean up after they've destroyed my house? Anyway, spirited toddler soon went to bed after a long day of whining and coughing. (Poor thing) Ahh, a sigh of relief and cute hubby time. I wish. Spirited toddler kept waking up crying due to painful coughing so I gave up and went to bed with him but it didn't help. Fast forward to this moring. Coffee. It didn't seem to help. Cute hubby goes to work and it's day three of being at home with a sick toddler which if you didn't know already, is mind numbing. I was praying.."God, give me patience today!" As the door shuts spirited toddler begins crying for his daddy which always breaks my heart. The phone starts ringing off the hook due to publicity. One man said, "I can barely hear you with the crying in the background." I get online to stop the phone. I wipe a nose, I wipe a poopy butt, I wipe my tears. More crying until TV is turned on. I don't even have the internal dialogue about too much TV this time because it works. Another diaper change as I put in third load of laundry. I hear "Milk, PLEASE!" Crap. (of course I don't say this out loud) We're out of milk. "Cookies!" In one second flat, he's crushing them up under his feet on my clean floor.(Damn it! of course I don't say this out loud) I swipe him up, head to the car for more milk. I'm thinking "come on girl, you can make it until nap time. Yea, but it's only 9:00am. Shit, it's going to be a long day." Yes, we arrive and add milk to our cart. We're done. Everyone's strapped in. What's that noise? Oh yea, it's the sound of silence. My car doesn't even attempt to start. Fuck! (this I say out loud) I take spirited toddler out of carseat and back into the store to call his daddy. By this time, I'm crying again. "Honey, can you rescue me?" Thank God he was in the office. He arrives to one pitiful wife and sick son who has gagged himself while I tried again to administer more medicine. I go to the bed and he holds me while I cry some more and then he's off to work again. Spirited toddler goes down for a nap. Thirty minutes later he's up, ready for me to entertain him. So remember me tonight when you curl up to that special someone. Remember the three words everyone wants to hear. No, not I love you, but "Where's the condom?"
posted by: hookemup at 14:19 |
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